Guess which douchebag said this:

“I’m sorry, I don’t talk to the press and that applies to you, unfortunately. Even though I think you’re cute.”

Answer: Chelsea Clinton responding to the probing question “Do you think your dad would be a good ‘first man’ in the White House?” posed by 9-year-old Scholastic news reporter Sydney Rieckhoff. Come on, Chelsea, give us a break. You bask in the public spotlight campaign as you shill for your Mom, but you can’t take 5 minutes to talk to a kid? Afraid of her trick questions? Puhleeze.

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Now I know that little Miley Cyrus – aka Hannah Montana – is the next Streisand and tickets to her shows are hard to come by, but pretending one’s father has bought the farm in Iraq in order to score some of these highly coveted concert tickets is a bit much - even by my standards. However, a 6-year-old girl from Garland Texas (with her mother’s blessing – take THAT Dad!) won four tickets to a Hannah Montana concert with an essay that began: “My daddy died this year in Iraq.” The girl’s mother, Priscilla Ceballos, had told Club Libby Lu officials (the company sponsoring the contest) that the girl’s father died April 17 in a roadside bombing in Iraq. Ceballos admitted later Friday that the essay and the military information she provided about her daughter’s father were untrue. “We did the essay and that’s what we did to win. We did whatever we could do to win,” Ceballos said in an interview Friday with KDFW-TV of Dallas. Club Libby Lu has since awarded the prize to another contestant. Clearly the douchebag doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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So, here’s a general rule of thumb: If you have TB or any other contagious disease for that matter, you should think twice about boarding an airplane and exposing others to the disease. Pretty basic; right? Well, one douchebag has exposed 44 American Airlines passengers in 17 states — including Illinois — after she took a flight from India to Chicago while suffering from a drug-resistant form of tuberculosis. She was a passenger on Flight 293 from Delhi to O’Hare Airport to San Francisco on Dec. 13th - a flight that lasted about 16 hours.  The woman was told she had TB in August and evidently went on her merry way exposing people on at least continents. Call us harsh, but knowingly spreading TB makes you a douchebag!

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Imagine our surprise this AM when we found that we had received more than a dozen unsolicited emails from a company called IDoBride.com. While all spammers are douchebags, these guys are worse than your everyday average garden variety douchebags. Aside from the odd name laden with sexual innuendo, their site is designed to look exactly like Google’s, right down to the color schemes and language. The site, which claims to be “America’s premier bridal search engine” is riddled with spelling errors and their privacy policy, terms of use, and contact links are dead. We did a little research and a guy named Brian Kerrigan from New Jersey owns the site.

Bri-Bri - Here’s a New Year’s resolution for you:

Stop spamming.

Don’t be a copycat.

Just don’t be a douchebag.

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Thanks to CIGNA Healthcare’s foot dragging, 17-year-old Nataline Sarkisyan’s family attended her funeral today. Despite the fact that the young California native’s doctors recommended a liver transplant following a recurrence of her leukemia, Cigna initially said it would not pay for the operation because its experts determined it would not have been “effective or appropriate.” Nataline developed a complication from a bone-marrow transplant she received before Thanksgiving and, because her liver was failing, doctors recommended a transplant, saying she had a 65 percent chance of living for at least six months. Family members said UCLA Medical Center had a liver available for transplant, but doctors would not perform the procedure because of Cigna’s refusal to cover it. Cigna initially refused to fund the procedure, but reversed itself after its decision drew protests and negative publicity. However, by then the girl was too sick and she died hours later. Nataline was taken off life support and died on December 20^th. Let us hope that the family’s lawyer, Mark Geragos, can nail Cigna on criminal charges. How do all those insurance company douchebags sleep at night with so much blood on their hands?

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Because Congress took forever to deal with the Alternative Minimum Tax issue, the IRS isn’t yet ready to process related forms for an estimated 13.5 million tax filers. Those filers - many of whom will likely get refunds - won’t be able to file their 2006 tax returns until February.

The five forms affected by the delay are:

Form 8863, Education Credits.

Form 5695, Residential Energy Credits.

Form 1040A’s Schedule 2, Child and Dependent Care Expenses for Form 1040A Filers.

Form 8396, Mortgage Interest Credit and

Form 8859, District of Columbia First-Time Homebuyer Credit.

Taxpayers using those forms will have to wait until February to file their taxes and the IRS will begin processing those forms on Feb. 11. The first refunds for those people will start going out 10 to 14 days later. So, is the IRS going to pay interest to those taxpayers? Nope.

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