And the moral of the story is - don’t raise kids in Italy …

A 34-year-old Italian man who had sex with a 13-year-old girl has had his sentence cut by two-thirds because a court decided there was “real love” between the pair.

Antonio de Pascale, a douchebag butcher from Vicenza, admitted that he had a four-month long relationship with the girl, who sent him a stream of torrid text messages on his mobile phone.  His lawyers argued, however, that there was a “deep tenderness” between him and the girl and that he had “fallen head over heels in love” after a sexual encounter in his car. They said the girl had consented to every action (at the ripe age of 13. You know, the age when most of us are thinking our clearest and most responsibly).

The court in Vicenza (who all clearly have substance-abuse issues and either don’t love children or don’t have any) accepted their opinion and sentenced de Pascale to only one year and four months in jail out of a possible 12-year term. Because of a general amnesty for anyone who receives a sentence of less than three years (WTF?!?!?!?!?), de Pascale is unlikely to serve any prison time for his Lolita-esque romance.

Antonio Marziale, the president of the Association for the Protection of the Rights of Minors and the only sane person living in Italy, said the decision was “execrable”. He said: “It is not right to judge whether or not a 13-year-old girl is willing. The law should safeguard young girls who are too immature to make these decisions against adults without scruples.” Marziale for President! Viva la Marziale!

However, Simonetta Matone, a judge in Rome and Satan’s minion, said the law must “always look to be reasonable in these cases”. She added: “Every relationship is a relationship and the real maturity, whether physical or psychological, of the minor must be weighed, with the help of experts.”

The court decision has unleashed a wave of condemnation in Italy (thank heaven), and even authors of teen novels stepped forward to caution their readers against early sexual encounters.

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Police arrested douchebag Tina D. Williams in St. Augustine, Florida on Sunday because they say she was driving with a 24-pack of Busch beer (and here I thought only my Dad drank that) strapped with a seatbelt to the passenger-side seat of her car but had a 16-month old baby unrestrained in the back seat with the toddler’s mother (and co-douchebag), Amber Tedrick. In addition, Williams refused a breathalyzer and a deputy found two metal pipes commonly used to smoke drugs in her purse. Williams was charged with driving under the influence, child abuse, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving without a license, a jail official said. She remained in the St. Johns County jail Tuesday after bail was set at $31,000. It was not clear if Tedrick would face any charges, but the child was released to her care (GREAT DECISION LEGAL SYSTEM!), according to The Florida Times-Union.

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Al Zimmerman is the King of All Douchebags. He was until recently the spokesperson for the Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF), which works to protect children in foster care, as well as the elderly and other needy folks. Douchebag Al, however, was arrested on eight counts of soliciting two boys for sexual purposes - one of whom was in DCF care. Nice job protecting the kids, Al, you DOUCHEBAG!

According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement Commissioner Gerald Bailey, “there were indications that at least one victim was met through his job,” but that Zimmerman’s access to DCF records “was limited.”

DCF Secretary Bob Butterworth, who condemned Zimmerman’s actions as “horrific,” said DCF policies before November of 2006 did not require fingerprinting of employees. (WHAT?!?!?!?!?) Zimmerman, a former TV newsman in the Tampa Bay area, was hired in 2005 and Butterworth said that although he had “glowing endorsements” from two references — public-information aides for a police agency and a fire department — none of his former employers was contacted. (WHAT?!?!?!?!?)

Butterworth said the DCF personnel staff will first check records of all employees hired under the new policy to make sure required background checks and fingerprints are on file. Then they will check everyone else. And hopefully Douchebag Al will get a taste of his own medicine as he rots in the clink.

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Two Iranian sisters were convicted of adultery (a capital crime in Islamic Iran) and face death by stoning after the supreme court upheld the death sentences against them according to the Etemad newspaper.

The husband of one sister presented video evidence showing the two in the company of other men while he was away. Keep in mind, the women were simply in the presence of the men in the video - they weren’t doing anything sexual.  ”She did not treat me well and her actions made me feel she did not want to live with me any more,” whined the douchebag husband of Zohreh (one of the women charged), who was not named. (Hmmm…I wonder why she wouldn’t want to live with you anymore. You appear so stable and trusting and loving. I scratch my head in confusion …)”To make sure I planted a camera in the house… When I watched the tape two days after, I found out that she and her sister brought over men after I left and had relationships with them,” he said.

Zohreh said she had an edgy relationship with her husband because of the strict limits he imposed on her life.”I was a teacher and loved my job but my husband did not let me work… he was always suspicious of me and thought our differences were because I had an affair,” she was quoted as saying by the daily.

So basically, because this insecure guy has self-esteem issues, his wife and her sister ARE GOING TO BE STONED TO DEATH IN THE PUBLIC SQUARE AS THOUGH WE ARE LIVING IN THE OLD TESTAMENT AND NOT IN 2008 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I hope Allah opens up a can of whoop-ass on the Iranian legal system and that douchebag husband of hers in the afterlife.

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Wow. How stupid can a store be? Pretty stupid, as demonstrated by the douchebags at Woolworth’s in London who thought it was a good idea to market a bed designed for 6-year-old girls as the “Lolita Midsleeper Combi” – a whitewashed wooden bed with a pull-out desk and cupboard. According to a spokesperson for Woolworth’s: “What seems to have happened is the staff who run the website had never heard of Lolita, and to be honest no one else here had either.” The chain withdrew the sale of the beds after outraged parents pointed out the name “Lolita” (which was the name of the 1955 novel by Nabokov in which the narrator has a sexual affair with his 12-year-old stepdaughter) was synonymous with sexually active pre-teen girls. Clearly the douchebags at Woolworth’s live under a rock.

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Does Senator Billy Wayne Bailey (how douchebag-tastic is THAT name?!) of West Virginia not read the newspaper? Did he not hear about a little thing called COLUMBINE or the VIRGINIA TECH MASSACRE? Clearly not, because had the Wyoming County Democrat heard of them, he might not have been so quick to introduce a bill this month to allow children as young as 7th grade to receive hunter training in school. The state of West Virginia already allows children as young as 10 YEARS OLD to obtain hunting licenses, but with this new bill, seventh through ninth graders would be able to receive instruction in such decidedly un-academic courses as survival skills to gun safety in school. The weapons would have dummy ammunition or be disabled. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t allow a 7^th grader babysit my child, let alone HANDLE A FIREARM. Wake up West Virginia!

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