Poor Mehdi Kazemi. The 19-year-old Iranian student was studying in Britain in 2005 and applied for asylum there after learning that his male lover in Iran had been executed for sodomy. Yes, executed. After British authorities rejected his application for asylum, he fled and applied for asylum in the Netherlands. Upholding a ruling by the Dutch government, the Council of State said Britain is responsible for his case because that’s where he first applied for asylum. Apparently European Union rules say the member state where an asylum seeker first enters the bloc is responsible for processing that person’s claim. Because of Iran’s persecution of homosexuals, the Netherlands typically relaxes its tough asylum rules when considering applications by gay Iranians — virtually guaranteeing asylum to any who apply here. However, because Kazemi had already applied for asylum in Britain and been rejected, the Dutch government refused to consider his case, insisting he return to Britain. While Britain’s Home Office doesn’t comment on individual asylum applications, Britain’s Border and Immigration Agency has issued a statement that could give Kazemi hope: “We examine with great care each individual case before removal and we will not remove anyone who we believe is at risk on their return.” Let’s hope he’s not sent back to the douchebag persecutors in Iran.

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Authorities in Orlando, Florida arrested a mother who was videotaped spraying her young daughter with a high-pressure water hose at a Florida car wash. Deputies arrested Niurka Ramirez in Orlando on Friday on a child abuse charge. Ramirez says she was trying to discipline her 2-year-old daughter for throwing a temper tantrum. (COME ON! This douchebag needs Super Nanny to teach her about the Naughty Chair!) She told authorities she did not use the high-pressure feature on the hose when spraying the child. (Thank God.) A nurse reported the girl had no visible injuries 11 days after the incident. Ramirez was released from jail early Saturday on $1,000 bail. Let’s hope this douchbag’s poor little daughter learns how to use a military-grade Super Soaker while her Mom is (hopefully) incarcerated.

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WTF is wrong with this guy? 39-year-old pro golfer Tripp Isenhour, while recently filming a practice video in Florida got annoyed that a hawk was screeching in the background. The big man drove his golf cart to the tree in which the hawk was perched and begin hitting golf balls at the bird.  One of his shots killed the protected migratory bird, dropping it to the ground with blood coming from both nostrils. Talking about the incident to the Associated Press yesterday, good ole’ Tripp called the whole thing an “unfortunate accident,” adding, “we all have had unfortunate accidents happen.” Yeah douchebag, but we don’t shoot golf balls or anything else at small animals.

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A child’s birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in Natick, Massachusetts was cut short after a fight broke out between two mothers. Natick police said the mom of the 9-year-old birthday boy apparently became enraged because the other woman’s son was “hogging” an arcade game. Sgt. Paul Thompson said Catherine Aliaga, 38, and Tarsha Williams, 33, both of Boston, would be summoned into court to answer charges of simple assault and battery stemming from the scuffle. Thompson told the MetroWest Daily News that police received a number of 911 calls about the fight Saturday night.He said what started as a birthday celebration turned into a “birthday melee.” 

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Klever Sailema, Maria Siavichay and Marcelo Vinansaca and accomplices – Douchebags of the DayPer the NY Times, a Queens, NY livery driver who had become something of a hero after he took to a firehouse a baby that he said had been abandoned in his cab was arrested on Saturday after his story unraveled, the police said.A man and a woman were also arrested. The douchebag driver, Klever Sailema, 45, was charged with filing a false report and endangering the welfare of a child. The woman, Maria Siavichay, 21, of the Bronx, who is the sister of the baby’s father, faces charges of endangering the welfare of a child, according to the police.Her roommate, Marcelo Vinansaca, 24, faces charges of obstructing governmental administration after he provided false information to detectives investigating the case, the police said.Investigators said that the baby’s father also took part in the scheme. He was still at large on Saturday, The child’s mother was underage and has not been charged.The announcement of the arrests are a surprise twist to a story that had generated praise and offers of rewards for the driver, who said that he had been flagged down on Thursday night by a man holding an infant. In accounts on Thursday and a news conference on Friday, Mr. Sailema said that the man first asked to be driven to Manhattan, then at 83rd Street asked him to pull over at a public telephone so he could make a call. Mr. Sailema said he left the vehicle and disappeared, leaving the baby behind.Mr. Sailema drove to a firehouse, Engine Company 289 at 97-28 43rd Avenue, and firefighters there called the police. The baby, who was about 6 months old, was taken to St. Johns Queens Hospital. Mr. Sailema said that the man had told him that the baby’s mother had left four days earlier and that he could not care for the child. A police sketch of the man he had described as having abandoned the child was widely circulated. The police had set up a special phone line and on Friday, the police commissioner, Raymond. W. Kelly, appealed to the public for information about the baby and her parents.Dozens of people had called the hospital where the baby had been taken on Thursday and offered to adopt her. She was nicknamed Lourdes and was placed in foster care.LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE BABY! WHAT KIND OF DOUCHEBAGS COULD DO THIS?! I CANNOT WAIT TILL THEY FIND THE FATHER – HE IS THE POSTER-CHILD OF ALL DOUCHBAGS! 

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