Pete Doherty, member of the band Babyshambles, former Kate Moss squeeze and MAJOR, HUMONGOUS, SUPER-HUMAN drug addict finally had to pay his debt to society and is currently serving a 14-week jail sentence for missing drug tests. Finally! Party-boy Pete has been in more scrapes with the law due to his unquenchable thirst for all things crack and heroin and has gotten away with nary a slap on the wrist till now. But the perks seem to outweigh the punishment at West London’s Wormwood Scrubs prison. Segregated from the general population because of his celebrity status, Doherty is allegedly receiving perks that take other inmates weeks to earn, such as an extra television, radio and mattress, according to the UK paper the Sun. Great way to teach a guy a lesson, douchebags.

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It’s bad enough to hear a story about a guy stealing money. It’s a whole other ballgame when the guy reportedly stealing is the Executive Director of the Suffolk County chapter of the New York Civil Liberties Union and the person he was allegedly stealing from is described by prosecutors as a HANDICAPPED CHILD. WTF?!?! Seth Muraskin, 39, who if this is all true is absolutely a douchebag, lives in Setauket and has offices in Huntington, NY, was arraigned before District Court Judge John Iliou on March 3 on a felony charge of third-degree grand larceny, according to court documents. Charged with stealing $44,000 from a client described by prosecutors as a “handicapped child,” Muraskin is suspected of stealing $44,385.06 from “a client’s escrow account” and spending it on personal expenses “for purposes unrelated to his client.”

Bob Clifford, a spokesman for the Suffolk district attorney’s office told Long Island newspaper, Newsday, the money was earmarked “for certain benefits that were meant to benefit his client.” Clifford could not say how old the victim is.

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According to the Associated Press, an Egyptian court convicted five men Wednesday on charges of homosexual behavior and sentenced them to three years in prison. Can you believe in this da and age, people can actually be incarcerated because of who they love?!

Defense lawyer, Adel Ramadan, said the judge found the men guilty of the “habitual practice of debauchery” — a term used in the Egyptian legal system to denote consensual homosexual acts.

The five men were arrested in what human rights groups describe as a crackdown on people with the AIDS virus, using the debauchery charges as a means to prosecute them.

Four of the five men tested HIV-positive after all were forced to undergo blood tests in custody, Human Rights Watch says.

Ramadan, a lawyer with the Egyptian Initiative for Personal Rights, said the five men were abused and tortured over the past several months to “extract confessions” from them.

In addition to their prison time, the men were sentenced to an additional three years of police supervision, meaning they will have to spend every night at a police station, from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m., the lawyer said.

Ramadan said the four HIV-positive defendants were shocked by their convictions.

“Two of them cried, screamed and shrieked,” he said. “The other two, they remained silent, but I saw anger in their eyes for the injustice they have been exposed to.”

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Local and state officials entered the temple of a secretive polygamist sect late Saturday following a 16-year-old girl’s admission to authorities that she was married to a 50-year-old man and had given birth to his child, according to GoSanAngelo.com. The incursion into the temple caps the three-day saga of the state’s Child Protective Services agency removing at least 183 women and children from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints’ YFZ Ranch since Friday afternoon. Um, most men I know can barely handle one wife - forget about multiple wives. And not for anything - it is so gross and douchebaggy not to mention ABUSIVE for a 50-year-old man to father the baby of a 16-year-old child.

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Devil Wears Prada actress Anne Hathaway’s douchebag boyfriend Rafaello Folliere was arrested yesterday for trying to pass a bad check for $250,000.00 according to InTouch Online. Raffaello was also recently ordered by a Washington, D.C., court to pay a PR firm $250,000 for work done on his behalf. Plus, last year, The Wall Street Journal ran a profile on the lawsuit billionaire Ron Burkle brought against Raffaello for allegedly using $1.3 million in business funds to support his (and reportedly, Anne’s) lavish lifestyle. Raffaello’s lawyers are apparently sorting out the bad check issue and he is no longer in police custody. Anne Hathaway always appeared so smart to me. Clearly her choice in men is lacking.

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Bad enough that third grade teachers have to put up with all the normal b.s. that comes along with teaching a bunch of 8-year-olds. But one third-grade teacher in Waycross, GA nearly had to deal with much more - nine third grade students were suspended at Center Elementary in Waycross for an alleged plot to attack their teacher according to First Coast News.

“This plot was uncovered at the point that something dangerous was brought to the school,” says Lt. Dwayne Caswell with Waycross Police.

According to the police, the students were planning to attack their teacher Friday morning and even brought items from home for the occasion.

“They had a broken steak knife, a crystal paper weight, toy handcuffs, several items and tape and stuff,” says Lt. Caswell.

Ware County School officials say a classmate told the principal about one of the students bringing a weapon to school. The discovery was later made that more students were in on the plot. The school says it’s a matter they are not taking lightly.

All the students are suspended until further disciplinary action is decided according to the school and students will most likely face juvenile charges of Unruly Child.

There used to be a time when I considered things like chalk and erasers to be necessities for teachers. Now Kevlar comes to mind.

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