Robert Ryan and Ralph Martinelli have been together for four years.  A year after they started dating, they registered as domestic partners in New Jersey. Martinelli was told he could insure Ryan under his policy as a Konica Minolta Business Solutions sales manager.

Ryan used the policy to pay for medication to treat the depression, anxiety and childhood asthma that resurfaced after inhaling severe smoke inside the World Trade Center during the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Ryan worked on the 74th floor of the south tower and escaped after the north tower was struck first.

According to a report by the Associated Press, Ryan was dropped from the policy last October, shortly after the Konica Minolta company found the couple had moved to Idaho, where they couldn’t register as domestic partners. In 2006, 63 percent of Idaho voters approved a constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman, effectively outlawing same-sex unions. Such a forward-thinking state.

Martinelli is still covered by a COBRA policy through the company. Ryan now pays $650 a month for a separate COBRA insurance policy that will expire in March 2009.

The national arm of the ACLU sent letters to Konica Minolta requesting Ryan be reinstated to the policy.

“We’ve been wrestling with Konica Minolta for months hoping that we could simply persuade them quietly to do the right thing,” said Jack Van Valkenburgh, executive director of the ACLU of Idaho. “They’ve made their decision.”

In a letter dated October 2, 2007, the company of douchebags confirmed Ryan’s coverage would be terminated. Donald Warwick, vice president of human resources for Konica Minolta, declined to comment when contacted by The Associated Press.

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Some douchebag at a question and answer session at Butler University today decided it was appropriate to ask Chelsea Clinton, who was at the campus during a campaign visit for her mother Hillary, if she thought her mother’s credibility had been hurt during the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

It wasn’t immediately clear what statement by the first lady the questioner was referring to. Before she was fully aware of her husband’s relationship with Lewinsky, a White House intern, Hillary Clinton said the allegations about that relationship were manufactured by a “vast right-wing conspiracy.”

Thankfully Chelsea wasn’t daunted by the douche and replied, “Wow, you’re the first person actually that’s ever asked me that question in the, I don’t know maybe, 70 college campuses I’ve now been to, and I do not think that is any of your business.”

The crowd of approximately 200 people loudly applauded Chelsea’s answer. After the applause, she responded, “and I also don’t think that should be the last question.”Chelsea took a final question about global warming, then wrapped up the event. After which she instructed her Secret Service detail to make the man disappear. (Okay I made that last part up, but it would have been cool if she had done that.)

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Okay, I’ve heard of couples fighting over silly things. But this takes the cake. According to Reuters on Wednesday, a Chinese bride named Luo burned her husband Wang to death FOR NOT WASHING HIS FEET BEFORE COMING TO BED. That is one nagging douchebag. The couple, who were married on February 2nd, reportedly fought on a frequent basis over trivial things. On the night of March 4th, they had yet another argument, then drowned their sorrows in liquor. At approximately 10pm, Luo watched her husband get into bed without washing his feet. In a drunken rage, she set fire to sheet he was sleeping in. Luo, the crazy douchebag has been arrested thankfully.

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A child’s birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in Natick, Massachusetts was cut short after a fight broke out between two mothers. Natick police said the mom of the 9-year-old birthday boy apparently became enraged because the other woman’s son was “hogging” an arcade game. Sgt. Paul Thompson said Catherine Aliaga, 38, and Tarsha Williams, 33, both of Boston, would be summoned into court to answer charges of simple assault and battery stemming from the scuffle. Thompson told the MetroWest Daily News that police received a number of 911 calls about the fight Saturday night.He said what started as a birthday celebration turned into a “birthday melee.” 

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Klever Sailema, Maria Siavichay and Marcelo Vinansaca and accomplices – Douchebags of the DayPer the NY Times, a Queens, NY livery driver who had become something of a hero after he took to a firehouse a baby that he said had been abandoned in his cab was arrested on Saturday after his story unraveled, the police said.A man and a woman were also arrested. The douchebag driver, Klever Sailema, 45, was charged with filing a false report and endangering the welfare of a child. The woman, Maria Siavichay, 21, of the Bronx, who is the sister of the baby’s father, faces charges of endangering the welfare of a child, according to the police.Her roommate, Marcelo Vinansaca, 24, faces charges of obstructing governmental administration after he provided false information to detectives investigating the case, the police said.Investigators said that the baby’s father also took part in the scheme. He was still at large on Saturday, The child’s mother was underage and has not been charged.The announcement of the arrests are a surprise twist to a story that had generated praise and offers of rewards for the driver, who said that he had been flagged down on Thursday night by a man holding an infant. In accounts on Thursday and a news conference on Friday, Mr. Sailema said that the man first asked to be driven to Manhattan, then at 83rd Street asked him to pull over at a public telephone so he could make a call. Mr. Sailema said he left the vehicle and disappeared, leaving the baby behind.Mr. Sailema drove to a firehouse, Engine Company 289 at 97-28 43rd Avenue, and firefighters there called the police. The baby, who was about 6 months old, was taken to St. Johns Queens Hospital. Mr. Sailema said that the man had told him that the baby’s mother had left four days earlier and that he could not care for the child. A police sketch of the man he had described as having abandoned the child was widely circulated. The police had set up a special phone line and on Friday, the police commissioner, Raymond. W. Kelly, appealed to the public for information about the baby and her parents.Dozens of people had called the hospital where the baby had been taken on Thursday and offered to adopt her. She was nicknamed Lourdes and was placed in foster care.LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE BABY! WHAT KIND OF DOUCHEBAGS COULD DO THIS?! I CANNOT WAIT TILL THEY FIND THE FATHER – HE IS THE POSTER-CHILD OF ALL DOUCHBAGS! 

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How dumb can you be? A drunk douchebag from Appleton, WI was arrested last week after he reportedly relieved himself in front of the police department. Duh! Cited for public urination and jailed on a probation violation, the 40-year old’s preliminary breath test indicated that his blood alcohol level was four times the legal limit, according to police.

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