Thirty-nine-year-old Japanese man Tetsunori Nanpei was arrested for trespassing this week after turning up at a high school dressed in a girl’s uniform and a long wig, local police said. Nanpei the douchebag told police he bought the uniform over the Internet and put it on to take a stroll near the school in Saitama, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, the daily Asahi Shimbun said. When students standing outside the gates started to scream at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school grounds, hoping to blend in with the crowds of teenagers, the paper said. They also screamed, forcing the man to flee, losing his wig in the process. A school clerk pursued him and stopped him at a nearby riverbank, the paper said. Police confirmed the arrest of the man in school uniform and wig but declined to give further details. (No further details necessary – we know he’s a douchebag.)

Bookmark to:

Is this what happens when you are rejected by eHarmony?

According to the Wichita Eagle, a woman responding to a break-in in her garage found a man having sexual intercourse with her 4-year-old female rottweiler, police said Wednesday.

The woman called police Tuesday night after finding the 20-year-old man, who was then arrested.

Police say he had a prior conviction for the same crime less than six months ago.

The man pleaded no contest to having sex with an animal last September in Reno County and was fined $353, according to court documents.

He also can be found on an Internet Web site where people show photos and tell stories about sex with animals, Capt. Darrell Haynes said.

Bookmark to:

On Thursday, MSNBC Douchebag David Schuster was guest-hosting Tucker Carlson’s show “Tucker” and in referring to Chelsea Clinton’s role in calling superdelegates on behalf of the Clinton presidential campaign, he asked whether she was “sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?”

Shuster, who apologized yesterday morning on MSNBC, has been suspended from appearing on all NBC News broadcasts, other than to make his apology. However, according to Politico.com, Shuster was unrepentant before his Friday morning mea culpa. On Thursday night Schuster told longtime Clinton aide Philippe Reines, who contacted Schuster in outrage about his remarks, that his commentary was justified because of the contrast between Chelsea Clinton’s overt political role and the aggressive way campaign aides “jump down the throat” of reporters who seek to question her about it.Methinks David Schuster is going to have to pimp himself out for a new job. Douchebag.

Bookmark to:

Police arrested douchebag Tina D. Williams in St. Augustine, Florida on Sunday because they say she was driving with a 24-pack of Busch beer (and here I thought only my Dad drank that) strapped with a seatbelt to the passenger-side seat of her car but had a 16-month old baby unrestrained in the back seat with the toddler’s mother (and co-douchebag), Amber Tedrick. In addition, Williams refused a breathalyzer and a deputy found two metal pipes commonly used to smoke drugs in her purse. Williams was charged with driving under the influence, child abuse, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving without a license, a jail official said. She remained in the St. Johns County jail Tuesday after bail was set at $31,000. It was not clear if Tedrick would face any charges, but the child was released to her care (GREAT DECISION LEGAL SYSTEM!), according to The Florida Times-Union.

Bookmark to:

Let the driver beware. According to an msnbc.com analysis of newly released records from the National Bridge Inventory which include inspections through 2006, several failures were noted in federal oversight of the system designed to ensure the safety of travelers crossing the nation’s bridges:

· The Federal Highway Administration has allowed states to take advantage of a loophole in federal regulations, delaying bridge inspections to every four years instead of the two years normally required. While most states don’t use this loophole, calling it unsafe, others drive a truck through it: Nationally, 30,000 bridges are listed on the delayed-inspection schedules, including 10,000 in Illinois alone and more than 3,000 on interstate highways.

· Bridges in poor condition have been allowed on these delayed timetables in violation of federal guidelines. Although federal and state officials are bound by law to closely monitor the schedules, their own records show thousands of bridges on delayed-inspection schedules — despite being too decayed, too long or too heavily traveled to qualify.

· “Fracture-critical” bridges (like the Minneapolis bridge that collapsed in August killing 13 people), which could collapse if one part fails, have remained on delayed-inspection schedules in violation of federal regulations. The records show 622 of these vulnerable bridges on four-year timetables.

· Even after the deadly collapse in Minneapolis, the haphazard system of inspections continued, with federal authorities choosing not to require re-inspection of more than 18,000 fracture-critical bridges. In a survey of every state by msnbc.com, only five states and the District of Columbia said they began to recheck all their fracture-critical bridges. The rest checked only the few hundred bridges of the particular deck-truss design used in Minneapolis.

· Federal agencies that own bridges have some of the worst records for on-time inspections. Nearly 3,000 bridges owned by U.S. government agencies went more than two years between checkups.

Needless to say, I won’t be taking a scenic drive through Illinois anytime soon.

Bookmark to:

I know it’s pretty common for news agencies to prepare an obituary for those in the public eye who are at death’s door in advance of them kicking the bucket. That way the news agency has the obit at the ready once the person checks out. And while it’s kind of morbid, I understand it for someone like Fidel Castro who is old and seems to be taking his last breath every other week. However, it’s pretty douchebag-esque when you have written an obit on a young star who is going through the worst troubles of her life and then you talk about it to US Weekly, categorizing it as potentially being one of the biggest stories in a long time. The  Associated Press’ entertainment editor, Jesse Washington (also known as our Douchebag of the Day), told Us, “We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time. I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now. Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now…but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared.” 

Bookmark to: